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CARNIVALMACABRE
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Name: Max
Interests: Monsters and the Beautiful Macabre
Expertise: You have never been one who could play gracefully with ideas, but had arrived at the violence of opinion only. Agitated, like the puddle in front of me, beside me, the one behind, constantly perturbed by the raindrops. Broken, like the line of soldiers in the world wars, when one falls, with a bullet in his patriotic heart. Can you see him there? Can you feel his fear? I am blinded by my tears. Numb, for I’m feeling none of this tragedy, this battle deep inside of me. Never ending is the war that is fought day after day, every waking hour, breaking the normality, and reminding all in its path that life is temporary and no one can recall their deepest most rewarding thoughts when they are choking on death, gripping their sheets, sucking in horror and exhaling their final breath. We never had such a fight as this. To die. To be transformed. To know.
Message: message me
AIM:  CARNIVALRUIN
Member Since:
6/30/2004
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[If you have a minute why don’t we go somewhere only we know. -Keane]
So, its up and running. Again. If you want thought provoking comments, or ideas, I hope you can come to expect them from me.
From War of the Worlds on surviving
“All these- the sort of people that live in these houses, and all those damn little clerks who used to live down that way- they’d be no good. They haven’t any spirit in them- no proud dreams and no proud lusts; and a man who hasn’t one or the other- Lord! What is he but fake and precautious?”
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As Amy, Anna, Lydia, and I casually strolled behind one of the little kindergarten boys we all remarked how cute he was. I paused to chime in, “He’s such a troublemaker in my class though.” Lydia laughed, “Oh, so he’s a bad boy.” I shrugged, “I guess if my mom made me wear green pants like those, I would be a bad boy too.”
“Where’s Anna?”
“The kids got her.”
In the midst of laughs and my attempt to regain my balance after putting Anna on my back, Anna begins to say something, but keeps gasping for breath instead. Anna finally managed to get the words out… “Your- hair- haha- smells- good-haha…”
“I know it sounds mean, but seriously, when you were on my back and you were hunched over, trying to act all mean, you looked exactly like a praying mantis.”
“What?!”
“You know normally I don’t promote drinking, but tonight, I honestly could use a drink.”
“Me too.”
“Would you care to get drunk with me Anna Boot?”
“It’d be a pleasure.”
“Well, everyone screamed so I started screaming… or wait, maybe I was the only one screaming. I don’t remember.”
“I want to pray for Lydia’s gargantuan bug bite, and for the phantom fly who periodically harasses Anna to go away.”
“Oh you’re a pastor? I have so many theological questions to ask.”-Amy
“Ask me about my love life. I know the answer to that one.”-David
God forgive me, I actually miss it. | | |
| "We're all like snowflakes. No two people are the same."-J. Wilson
I think I'm going through the motions. Anyone else?
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| At random moments, in random places,
I surrender to the flippant normality.
I am surrounded by formless faces,
I lose my superfluous damnation and graces.
And the strangest loss can't fill the void
whenever I think of the home that was mine
So this I say, this i do, Ill never be able to make it up to you.
More than anything, I see it now. | | |
| Hello, I'd like you to meet Fish
He was large. That was the first thing that struck me as the giant sat down next to me on the bench this morning. Not large as in fat, though he was rather large that way too, but larger than life. He was like Hagrid in a way, as he let his head droop and his raggedy mop of hair drape over his face. As I watched him sit down on the bench, i suddenly felt very much like Piglet. I checked myself, and shoved my nose into my book again and tried for the 3rd time to decipher the Shakespearean sentence. I'll in to counsel them; haply...PLOP. My head jerked up in surprise. There, between the giant and I, lay a battered sketchbook. He was furiously digging through his bag in search of, what I guessed to be a pencil. Victorious, he gently cradled his sketchbook on his lap and rapidly began sketching. i watched in open admiration. Not long after he first laid pencil to paper, a goofy looking cartoonish character laughed at me from the paper. He was signing it, ramming the book back into his bag, and folding his hands on his lap before I even realized my mouth was slightly ajar with amazement. i found myself saying, "that picture you drew, it was phenomeonal. Youre truly good." For the first time I met his eyes and saw genuine modesty there. "thanks." I nodded, "Im madalyn by the way." The hints of a smile battled with his lips."They call me Fish. You can call me that." "ok." There we sat. Giant and dwarf a couple feet apart on a bench in the middle of Au Sable Hall waiting for our next classes. I put my book aside and began to let my feet rock back and forth. He randomly alternated drooping his head entirely and letting the mass of hair cover his face once more and holding his chin up high. "uh, Fish, are you going into Graphic design?" He solemnly shook his head."No, my major is film and video. I draw cartoons cause I really like making people laugh." "really? sweet," the words sounding hollow the moment I said them. I cleared my throat. "What kind of movies do you wanna make? like what about?" His eyes began to glitter a little. "Uh, horror actually." I laugh."thats hilarious. You love making people laugh yet you want to go into horror." He smiled again. "well, yeah, but i like to laugh too, and scaring people makes me laugh." I grin. A few minutes of small talk, yet it felt larger than me, pass and he gets up to go to class and we say goodbyes. I hope I see the giant again. He really was magical. | | |
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